The following excerpt from the autobiography of Nebeel Qureshi, Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus [1], is helpful to those who are dealing with men and women converted from potentially violent, if not abusive backgrounds such as Islam. There is no easy way out. Here is Nebeel's advice:
"It is one of the greatest regrets of my
life that I was not the one to break the news to my parents. I really did owe
it to them. If there is anything I could change from those days, it would be
that moment. In the ten years since, I have ministered around the world and
have met hundreds who have left Islam for Jesus. When these believers from
Muslim backgrounds come to me for counsel, the first question I ask is whether
they have informed their family of their decision. I do not want anyone to make
the same mistake that I did.
I now realize this is a common problem. The
honor-shame paradigm, combined with the cost of following Jesus, paralyzes many
former Muslims into secrecy and deception. I have even met an immigrant in
America who has been a Christian for more than two decades and still has not
told his parents that he left Islam. My counsel to all such new brothers and
sisters in the faith is that they walk in the light and hide nothing. Jesus intends
for us to walk openly and freely, whereas secrecy and deception are the domain
of the devil. This is particularly important for Muslims from honor-shame
contexts, as they are prone to hide difficult matters. It is only after we are
unfettered by fear that we can live boldly, as true Christians. Yes, it is
painful and potentially dangerous, but that is where the Holy Spirit meets us
and shapes us into the image of Jesus, our suffering Lord. My advice is
actually more controversial than it might sound at first. Shortly after
entering the world of ministry to Muslims, I learned that many missionaries
tell new believers from Muslim backgrounds not to inform their families they
have converted. They suggest that new believers maintain their relationships
with their Muslim circles rather than proclaim the divine Lordship of Jesus.
These ministers often spread the gospel among Muslims while omitting the
teaching that Jesus is God. This practice is so widespread that it has become a
common approach among missionaries, called the Insider Movement. I have a great
love for Christian brothers and sisters who dedicate their lives to reaching
Muslims, but I find this approach so horribly misguided that I resolutely
condemn it as blasphemy. A gospel devoid of Jesus’ deity is no gospel at all.
The good news is that God Himself loves us enough to enter into the world and
suffer for us, that despite humanity’s inability to save itself, God saved us.
He did not send someone else to do His dirty work. He rescued us Himself. No one
else could do it. That is the beauty of the gospel; it is all about God and
what He has done out of His love for us. A gospel without the deity of Christ
is an eviscerated gospel. Thus, I advise insider missionaries and reluctant
former Muslims that we must embrace Jesus’ teaching: Following Him often means
dividing our families and potentially being killed for our faith (Matt. 10:32 –
39). Anguish and suffering are not just risks of following Jesus, they are
means of following Jesus. If Jesus was denounced by His family (Mark 3:31) and
did not run from His execution (Mark 10:33), how are we His followers if we
avoid following His example? The expectation of Christian suffering is exactly
why we have Scriptures like Philippians 4:6 – 7, Luke 18:1 – 8, and Matthew
6:25 – 34, and in my first year as a Christian, I immersed myself in those
verses for comfort. The greatest lesson I learned in that time is that
suffering binds us closer to Jesus and opens us to the tangible presence of the
Holy Spirit, the Comforter, more than anything else. Perhaps that is why one of
our first acts after becoming Christians is baptism, symbolizing our
willingness to die to this world. Although many Christians see it as a symbolic
death, none should assume the symbol is meaningless. To follow Jesus is to die
that we might live."
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1. Qureshi, Nabeel. Seeking Allah, Finding
Jesus: A Devout Muslim Encounters Christianity (p. 287-288). Zondervan. Kindle
Edition.
