Friends Are Friends Forever

3 John 13–14 (NIV),

¹³ I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. ¹⁴ I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.

Twice in this closing, John uses the word "friends".  He uses the Greek word φίλος [fee·los] that we are familiar with.  The ESV Study notes point out that this is "an unusual term for fellow believers; but see John 15:15. every one of them. Lit., “by name.” John’s pastoral care is not remote and bureaucratic but personal, as Jesus commended and modeled (John 10:3, 14)." [1]

These major points are important.   In place of "beloved" or “children of your elect sister” or brothers and sister, or even saints, John, like his Savior calls them friends.  This would be, in my opinion, the ideal characteristic of a believing, evangelical church.  Friends!  It speaks of close, personal and sincere fellowship.   It would make a resounding statement to the world. “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”” (John 13:35, NIV).

Secondly, this points out John`s relationship to this church.  Friends!  A modern expression of church leadership paints images of a precise CEO, or some might think of an entrepreneurial visionary. Some modern allusions to church pastoral ministry include everything from the detailed seminary professor to insightful, therapeutic counselor.  But John just sees himself as a friend.  When we see and call each other `friends` it speaks of warmth, camaraderie, intimacy, trust and respect.

• John 15:13 (NIV), ¹³ Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
• John 15:15 (NIV), ¹⁵ I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.
• Proverbs 17:17 (NIV), ¹⁷ A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
• Proverbs 18:24 (NIV), ²⁴ One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
• Proverbs 27:6 (NIV), ⁶ Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

"The lowest in the church of Christ should be greeted. And those may well salute and greet one another on earth who hope to live together in heaven. And the apostle who had lain in Christ’s bosom lays Christ’s friends in his heart." [2]

Father, the insight of Matthew Henry is profound.  We who will live together in unfettered bliss, in eternity, ought to be able to live here on earth in genuine friendship. Sadly that is not the case. Pride, selfish ambition, competitiveness, disrespect, etc. etc. impair and often ruin friendships. This epistle has been challenging.  It is small but its ballistics are precise.  I am corrected and instructed in righteousness. I pray today for a friendliness that invites friendships.  I pray for my Church.  I pray that it would resound in hospitable, warm, friendships.  But Lord I pray mostly for myself.  This is a strange journey - one I am not accustomed to.  Work in my life that Spirit-led change that helps me to understand what needs to occur in me, that I might be a friend.  Grant what you command, Lord Jesus.  Amen.

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1. Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (2446). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

Expositor's Bible Commentary, The, Pradis CD-ROM:3 John/Exposition of 3 John/VI. Personal Remarks and Farewell Greetings (13-15), Book Version: 4.0.2

2. Henry, M. (1994). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible: Complete and unabridged in one volume (2459). Peabody: Hendrickson.