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Thursday, June 1, 2017

Meet My Better Half!

These events did not transpire quite this way. I’m projecting them as if they had.  The essence of the communication was the same.  J

Dear Pastor Jim:  As I read And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18, KJV), I feel that this is really demeaning.  I mean it makes the wife look like her husband’s assistant.  Is he the boss and is she sort of like his little secretary, running around to do his bidding?  How am I to understand this?

Sincerely,

Feeling Small in Marriage

Dear Feeling Small in Marriage;

Thank you for your question and the opportunity to clarify.  The word “help meet” that is translated in the KJV is the Hebrew word: עֵזֶר , pronounced ay·zer!  Every Hebrew lexicon that I have translates that word “help” or “one who helps”.  It is used elsewhere in the Old Testament in relation to the idea of “savior”, as in the proper name ‘Ebed nezer’ = the rock of help or the rock of deliverance.  There is also a sense where it could apply to a military ally who comes to your assistance.  Of course, most importantly it refers to God. Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life” (Psalm 54:4, ESV); and  “The Lord is on my side as my helper; I shall look in triumph on those who hate me.” (Psalm 118:7, ESV)

Simply defining the word from a Hebrew lexicon, or even seeing how the Bible uses the word עֵזֶר , and its derivatives is helpful, but the decisive understanding of the word comes from the context. The NIV has grasped the language and context well: The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” (Genesis 2:18, NIV).  To focus only on the word “helper” is unhelpful. This is a prepositional phrase and must be read together. The phrase is “helper suitable for him”. It would be better to even suggest “an indispensable companion”.  The entire clause is literally: "a helper like his opposite“; or “according to the opposite”.[1]  We have a joke in the west where we speak of a man’s wife as his “better half”.  That is actually very accurate.  Of course the KJV translates the phrase “help meet”.  I would agree that this isn’t the best translation. 

Also this is described for us by Moses in context with an activity that Adam was engaged in.  “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.” (Genesis 2:20, NIV). Nothing Adam saw in all creation corresponded to him. So God did a miracle. 

So what is the practical application of this?  First of all there is nothing in the text that indicates inferiority or subordination.  There is no “assistant” bias or “waiter” analogy.  A wife is complementary to her husband.  There are aspects to a marriage relationship that reflect sameness and there are aspects that reflect complementary characteristics.  The wonder and beauty comes when together they serve; the one’s weakness is often enabled by the other’s strengths and so on. Two are better than one … for if they fall one will lift up his fellow” (Eccl 4:9–10; cf. Prov 31:10–31).









[1] To help someone does not imply that the helper is stronger than the helped; simply that the latter’s strength is inadequate by itself (e.g. Josh 1:14; 10:4, 6; 1 Chron 12:17, 19, 21, 22). The compound prepositional phrase “matching him,” כנגדו, literally, “like opposite him” is found only here.” - Wenham, G. J. (1998). Genesis 1–15 (Vol. 1, p. 68). Dallas: Word, Incorporated.

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