These
events did not transpire quite this way. I’m projecting them as if they
had. The essence of the communication
was the same.
J
Dear Pastor Jim: As I read “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone;
I will make him an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:18, KJV), I feel that
this is really demeaning. I mean it
makes the wife look like her husband’s assistant. Is he the boss and is she sort of like his
little secretary, running around to do his bidding? How am I to understand this?
Sincerely,
Feeling Small in
Marriage
Dear Feeling Small in
Marriage;
Thank you for your
question and the opportunity to clarify.
The word “help meet” that is translated in the KJV is the Hebrew word: עֵזֶר , pronounced ay·zer! Every Hebrew lexicon
that I have translates that word “help” or “one who helps”. It is used elsewhere in the Old Testament in
relation to the idea of “savior”, as in the proper name ‘Ebed nezer’ = the rock
of help or the rock of deliverance. There
is also a sense where it could apply to a military ally who comes to your
assistance. Of course, most importantly
it refers to God. “Behold, God is my helper; the
Lord is the upholder of my life” (Psalm 54:4, ESV); and “The
Lord is on my side as my helper; I
shall look in triumph on those who hate me.” (Psalm 118:7, ESV)
Simply defining the
word from a Hebrew lexicon, or even seeing how the Bible uses the word עֵזֶר , and
its derivatives is helpful, but the decisive understanding of the word comes
from the context. The NIV has grasped the language and context well: “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the
man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”” (Genesis 2:18, NIV). To focus only on the
word “helper” is unhelpful. This is a prepositional phrase and must be read
together. The phrase is “helper suitable for him”. It would be better to even suggest
“an indispensable companion”. The entire
clause is literally: "a helper like his opposite“; or “according to the
opposite”.[1]
We have a joke in the west where we
speak of a man’s wife as his “better half”.
That is actually very accurate.
Of course the KJV translates the phrase “help meet”. I would agree that this isn’t the best
translation.
Also this is described for us by Moses in
context with an activity that Adam was engaged in. “So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all
the wild animals. But for Adam no suitable helper was found.” (Genesis 2:20, NIV). Nothing Adam saw in all creation corresponded to him. So God
did a miracle.
So what is the practical application of
this? First of all there is nothing in
the text that indicates inferiority or subordination. There is no “assistant” bias or “waiter”
analogy. A wife is complementary to her
husband. There are aspects to a marriage
relationship that reflect sameness and there are aspects that reflect
complementary characteristics. The
wonder and beauty comes when together they serve; the one’s weakness is often
enabled by the other’s strengths and so on. Two are better than one … for if they fall one will lift up his fellow”
(Eccl
4:9–10; cf. Prov
31:10–31).
[1] “To help someone does not imply
that the helper is stronger than the helped; simply that the latter’s strength
is inadequate by itself (e.g. Josh 1:14; 10:4, 6; 1 Chron 12:17, 19, 21, 22).
The compound prepositional phrase “matching him,” כנגדו,
literally, “like opposite him” is found only here.” - Wenham, G. J. (1998). Genesis 1–15
(Vol. 1, p. 68). Dallas: Word, Incorporated.
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