An Encouragement for Christian Grandparents

 

Young people need something stable to hang on to—a culture connection, a sense of their own past, a hope for their own future. Most of all, they need what grandparents can give them.” — Jay Kesler

What is the Legacy Coalition?

Several years ago my wife and I joined a weekly ZOOM meeting entitled Grand Monday Nights. This is a free weekly online webinar hosted by the Legacy Coalition and Legacy Coalition Canada designed to help Christian grandparents intentionally pass on their faith to their grandchildren. It starts in our Time Zone at 6:00 pm each Monday night. We are able to watch it on our Smart TV. If we miss the Monday night live session, we get a link on Tuesday where we can watch a recorded session.

Each episode features guest speakers, interviews, practical strategies, and testimonies. The topics that are covered include: Building durable faith in grandchildren, handling family struggles or adult children walking away from faith, media/screen influences, and biblical guidance.

The the ministry founded by Larry Fowler that equips grandparents for intentional Christian grandparenting would ground the importance, value, and honor due to grandparents squarely in Scripture’s multigenerational vision of faith transmission. Their core message is that grandparenting is not a cultural afterthought or retirement hobby, but a God-designed, biblically mandated role of spiritual influence and disciple-making. 

Grand Monday Nights does not always spotlight perfect scenarios. Sometimes grandparents have to deal with broken or blended families. There will be occasions when adult children aren’t favorable to spiritual influence. But one consistent rule of thumb is that grandparents are to not usurp the authority of the parents and treat them with utmost respect.

One might be asking, “Is there a biblical role for Christian grandparents?”  The Bible says so.

Grandparents Are Explicitly Commanded to Teach the Next Generations.

“Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children’s children— (Deuteronomy 4:9, ESV)

Larry Fowler and Legacy Coalition repeatedly highlight the little word “and.” God does not stop the teaching mandate at the parent generation. Grandparents are directly included in the command to pass on God’s works and ways. This is not optional or secondary—it is part of covenant faithfulness.

God’s Design Is Multigenerational Disciple-Making

“He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments; (Psalm 78:5–7)

Grandparents are to think in terms of four generations: themselves, their children, their grandchildren, and the generation beyond.

Grandchildren Are a Crown and Blessing

Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers. (Proverbs 17:6, ESV)

“Families depend on one another for their identity and joy. Both young and old should cherish their intergenerational relationships.”  - Crossway Bibles. (2008). The ESV Study Bible (p. 1164).  The family is strengthened by the wisdom and spiritual investment of the older generation.

Honor Is Due Across Generations

“You shall stand up before the gray head and honor the face of an old man, and you shall fear your God: I am the Lord.”  (Leviticus 19:32, ESV)

 

A Legacy Coalition leader would argue that if God commands honor toward parents and the elderly, then grandparents, as the senior generation in the family, are due particular respect.

 

The Joy of Spiritual Fruit in Grandchildren

“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” (3 John 4, ESV)

Fowler has publicly offered a “grandfather’s version”: there is no greater joy than to hear that one’s grandchildren are walking in the truth. This captures the heart of intentional Christian grandparenting—the deep desire to see faith perpetuated so that grandchildren share eternity with Christ.

Summary of Intentional Christian Grandparenting

As a grandparent of 3 I love playing with, reading to, enjoying my grandchildren. We have sometimes had the privilege of providing childcare, which is always a challenge and a delight. However, my wife and I (through the ministry of Legacy Coalition) have been challenged to also be disciple-makers. We believe that we stand second to the parents in spiritual influence. We believe our modelling, praying, slipping in the odd spiritual thought or Scripture will not get lost on our grandchildren. We believe the parents provide the prime spiritual influence. We honor them because they occupy a God-ordained place. But where we can come along side and help, we make that our aim. The ministry of Legacy Coalition has moved us from passive grandparenting to intentional Christian grandparenting.

What can you do?

A good place to start is to join Grand Monday Nights. It’s free to join. On their website you can simply register via e-mail. You will get a notice usually a day before with the sign-on information to receive the ZOOM call. Over a period of time, you will soon learn of all resources available to you through their website.

For information on their Mission and Statement of Faith you can find this at their main website.

 

 

There Is A Complexity to God’s Love That Often Escapes Our Notice

 

From ‘The Difficult Doctrine of God’s Love,’ by D.A. Carson[1]

There is a reality that exists among Christians and non-Christians alike and it is to flatten the the love of God into one definition. We know this reality in everyday life if we think about it. When I say that I love my wife, no one in their right mind thinks that I love others in the same way. And when I say that I love my children, no one thinks that I love them the same as my wife and the same as I do to my fellow man.

 

Carson is helpful here. Note that he shows 5 ways that the Bible speaks of God’s love. “I draw your attention to five distinguishable ways the Bible speaks of the love of God. This is not an exhaustive list, but it is heuristically[2] useful.”

 

Some Different Ways the Bible Speaks of the Love of God

 

1)        The peculiar love of the Father for the Son, and of the Son for the Father. 

2)        God’s providential love over all that he has made

3)        God’s salvific stance toward his fallen world. God so loved the world that he gave his Son (John 3:16).

4)        God’s particular, effective, selecting love toward his elect

5)        Finally, God’s love is sometimes said to be directed toward his own people in a provisional or conditional way conditioned, that is, on obedience.

 

Carson will warn us not to separate these aspects into permanent, independent boxes as if “each were hermetically sealed off from the other.” Although they are to be distinguished, they are not to be divided. The character of God’s simplicity does not permit that. Their uniqueness does help us resolve some problems, though.

 

A common occasion that I have dealt with is with the familiar John 3:16. Many times, as the argument goes, this verse is pitted against verses like 1 Thessalonians 1:4[3]. If you treat both aspects of God’s love as being the same, you are led to believe the entire world is God’s elect and that being so leads us to universalism; to heresy. The discussion avoids the truth that God is speaking of a different aspect to His love in each case (Note #3 and #4 above).

 

This distinguishing of God’s love will help us avoid common clichés. Carson notes these 2:   

 

a)        “God’s love is unconditional.” But this cannot apply to #5.

b)        “God loves everyone exactly the same way.” And this cannot apply to #4.

 

Carson notes that “it is clear that what the Bible says about the love of God is more complex and nuanced than what is allowed by mere sloganeering.” This requires us as readers of Scripture to identify the aspect of God’s love that is being spoken of in Scriptural text.

“Christian faithfulness entails our responsibility to grow in our grasp of what it means to confess that God is love.”

What are some implications for the careful Bible reader?

A.       Avoid Sentimentalism: The reader must avoid reducing God's love to a single cliché, such as "God loves everyone the same way". While God loves the world in a salvific sense (3), that is distinct from his peculiar, effective love for the elect (4).

 

B.       Be balanced in your understanding of God’s love. The reader cannot pick one aspect to the exclusion of others. They must be held together to form a balanced, biblical picture, even when they seem difficult to reconcile (e.g., the tension between the unconditional nature of election and the conditional nature of obedience-based love).

C.      Context is King: The careful reader must pay attention to the specific biblical context to understand which aspect of love is being discussed. For example, a passage discussing obedience-based love (5) should not be read as a definition of salvation-by-works, nor should a text on salvific love (3) be used to deny the reality of elective love (4).

 

D.      Integrate with Other Attributes: God's love must not be divorced from his other perfections—holiness, sovereignty, and wrath. Understanding this ensures that the reader does not create a "God" who is merely a doting, harmless figure, but one who is both righteous and loving.

 

E.        Pastoral and Personal Application: Understanding these aspects properly brings both assurance and a call to obedience. It allows believers to rest in the secure, effective love of God (4) while simultaneously understanding the call to remain in His love through obedience (5)

[1] https://media.thegospelcoalition.org/documents/carson/2000_difficult_doctrine_of_the_love_of_God.pdf

[2] a common-sense rule (or set of rules) intended to increase the probability of solving some problem

[3] For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you,

 

We've confused being nice with being loving.

We've confused being nice with being loving. 

Nice avoids the hard conversation. Love steps into them. 

Nice keeps the peace. Love helps others see their blind spots. 

Nice is about your comfort. Love is for the good of others.  

Jesus always led with love. He sat with the woman at the well, told her the truth about her life, and didn't flinch. 

He looked at the rich young ruler, saw how trapped he was by his wealth, and said the thing nobody else would say… because He loved him. 

Love might sting in the short term. But when done with the right heart it will lead to greater life. 

We've settled for niceness because it's easier and it keeps people from being upset with us. But niceness that avoids the truth isn't kindness. It's just self-protection with a smile.

https://substack.com/@rethinksimplebibleteachings/note/c-251124594?r=434bqv&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

The Church: Here and now and There and Then.

In 2 Thessalonians 1:1, there are 2 prepositions: “to” and “in.” "To" connects to the recipients, a local earthly identity; and "in" defines their spiritual identity, placing them in union with God rather than just physical location. The assertion that a local congregation is a spiritual institution—more than a human social club but still a real, earthly community—carries profound implications for how evangelicals view its authority, purpose, and daily life. It suggests that while the Church exists in the "here and now," it also connected to "there and then" spiritual identity. It is “visible” yet “invisible.”

The visible Church and the invisible Church are distinct and should not be confused; yet they should not be separated. In the present, one does not exist without the other; and one should not be considered without the other. When we gather as a local entity (1 Corinthians 11:18a) we also gather as “the assembly of the firstborn” (Hebrews 12:22-23).

Because the Church is a spiritual institution, its authority does not come from a democratic majority or human autonomy, but from the Word of God.

Because the Church exists in union in Christ there is a unique social order, not dictated by human constructs but by Biblical order and definition.

Because the Church is not less than a human institution; it suffers from human frailty, sin, and organizational needs that find their solution in the "spiritual house" that orders and transcends these.

Because the Church is human and heavenly at the same time, it is impossible to be logically loyal to one without the other.

 

Where Does the Christian Receive Psychē Counselling?

Where do we seek help for matters of the soul? Or perhaps a better question at this point is, “What are matters of the soul?”  I submit there are at least 7[1]:

1.      Heart motives and desires — What do you love most? (idolatry vs. worship of God; disordered affections, cravings, lusts of the flesh—see 1 John 2:15-17; James 4:1-3; Ezekiel 14:1-8).

2.      Thoughts and beliefs — Unbelief, lies we tell ourselves, faulty thinking patterns (Romans 12:2; 2 Corinthians 10:5; Ephesians 4:17-24).

3.      Emotions/affections — Anxiety/worry (unbelief—Matthew 6:25-34; Philippians 4:6-7), anger (bitterness, unforgiveness—Ephesians 4:31-32), fear, guilt, shame, despair, or joyless living.

4.      Will and behaviors — Sinful actions and habits that flow from the heart (e.g., lying, stealing, sexual immorality, laziness, addiction-like patterns—Galatians 5:19-21; Colossians 3:5-10).

5.      Relational sins — Pride, selfishness, manipulation, lack of love, unforgiveness, or idolatry of people/approval (Philippians 2:3-8; Ephesians 4:25-5:2).

6.      Responses to suffering — How we interpret and respond to trials, loss, abuse, or hardship (whether with faith/trust or with grumbling, self-pity, or resentment—see James 1; 1 Peter 4-5; Psalm 119).

7.      Sanctification issues — Lack of repentance, weak faith, prayerlessness, neglect of the Word, or failure to abide in Christ (John 15; Romans 6; Colossians 3:1-17).

The ACBC[2] standard of doctrine states: “God created the human person with a physical body and an immaterial soul, each possessing equal honor and essential to humanity.  The Bible depicts the soul as that which motivates the physical body.”[3]  I contend that secular society and secular approaches cannot deal with matters of the soul.  Unfortunately, our culture has created a discipline called psychology. "Psychology" derives it’s meaning from the Greek roots psyche (soul, mind, or breath) and logia (study, discourse, or science), literally meaning the "study of the soul." Sadly, this is a misnomer for this is not a field that secular psychology can legitimately enter.

ACBC’s official philosophy is “We recognize that secular attempts to answer the ultimate questions of psychology and counseling (i.e., Who is man? Why do people do what they do? How do people change? Why should a person change?) fall short in their answers since they do not acknowledge the reality of a personal God in whose presence mankind is always functioning and developing.”[4] Biblical counsellors would dismiss secular approaches to mankind’s soul because its theories are fundamentally flawed in its anthropology. It is flawed in matters of root causes. It is impotent in bringing lasting change to a person.  Some might even suggest, as I do, that secular psychology as co-opted the Biblical approach.

The Bible could not be clearer” “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” (Psalm 1:1–2, ESV)

Recently in a Podcast[5] entitled ‘Evaluating Clinically Informed Counselling,’ the participants provided a helpful checklist of areas we should look for, as Christians, to receive trustworthy counsel for matters of the soul. Paraphrasing their advice, here are 4 questions to ask prior to seeking counsel for your soul:

1.      What is the source of the problem? Is it a physical matter? Can it be examined, tested, measured, etc., organically or is it a matter of the soul? There is no blood test for anxiety. There is no imaging data on grief. You can perform a biopsy on depression. Ed Welch’s framework is helpful: moral/spiritual problems need soul care; non-moral physical problems need medical attention. Even in physical suffering, the heart response (trust vs. despair, gratitude vs. grumbling) remains a soul matter (see James 1; 1 Peter 4–5). [6] 

2.      What is the methodology of the counsellor? If it is matters of the soul, do they lean on humanistic theories or do they hold firmly to the sufficiency of Scripture? 2 Peter 1:3–5 (ESV)

“³ His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, ⁴ by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. ⁵ For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge,”

See also: 2 Timothy 3:16-17, Psalm 19:7-9, and Psalm 119:05

3.      Who is promoting the system of counselling? Where do you go to get it? The Bible says, “if I delay, you may know how one ought to behave in the household of God, which is the church of the living God, a pillar and buttress of the truth.” (1 Timothy 3:15, ESV) Is this counselling service a ministry of, or under the Church? Biblical counselling is essentially Christian discipleship. The call to discipleship is a corporate call. To ensure accountability and authenticity in service, Biblical counselling ministries ought to at the very least an appendage of the Church.

4.      Lastly, what is the role of that counsellor? The Biblical counsellor’s mandate is clear: “Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28, ESV). Techniques like cognitive-behavioral methods, talk therapy focused on self-esteem, or trauma processing frameworks detached from biblical categories may offer short-term coping tools but often bypass or contradict the need for repentance, forgiveness, and Christ-centered hope. The word “warning” in Colossians 1:28 is the Greek word νουθετέω noutheteō meaning to admonish, exhort, admonish, give instruction.^[7] The Biblical counsellor is essentially a Biblical expositor, and the goal is Christlikeness.

Secular ‘psychology’ produces temporary symptoms of relief or behavioral modification through common grace[8] observations, but it cannot produce heart-level transformation. Only the Holy Spirit working through God's Word can do that.

The soul is not a separate “ghost in the machine” but the motivating, directing center of the whole person (body + soul = embodied soul). It encompasses the heart (kardia), mind (nous), affections/desires, will, thoughts, emotions, motivations, and worship. Proverbs 4:23 is often cited: “Keep your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life.” Problems “of the soul” are ultimately heart-level issues—rooted in relationship to God, sin, idolatry, unbelief, or responses to suffering—that require the gospel, the Holy Spirit, repentance, faith, and ongoing sanctification for real change.[9]

Puritan clergy in the 16th and 17th centuries were frequently referred to as "physicians of the soul" or "soul-doctors".[10] They believed that just as a physical doctor treats the body, a minister should diagnose and treat spiritual diseases, such as sin, anxiety, or spiritual apathy, through personalized guidance.

 

 

 

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[1] xAI, *Grok 3* (AI language model), accessed April 17, 2026, https://x.com/i/grok/share/650cfd9c3f4340969b3bc993a08c129a

[2] https://biblicalcounseling.com/

[3] https://nebraskagospel.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/ACBC_Beliefs_And_Values.pdf

[4] https://biblicalcounseling.com/

[5] From Truth in Love: TIL 562: Is the Clinically Informed Biblical Counseling the Third Generation (feat. Ernie Baker), Apr 6, 2026

https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/truth-in love/id1003845008?i=1000759500387&r=616

[6] https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2014/09/25/how-can-christians-tell-the-difference-between-a-spiritual-issue-and-a-physical-one/

^[7] Thomas, R. L. (1998). In New American Standard Hebrew-Aramaic and Greek dictionaries : updated edition. Foundation Publications, Inc.

[8] “God’s common grace that sustains the life and breath of every unbeliever (cf. Dan. 5:23) and that permits the unregenerate to partake of the multifaceted pleasures and blessings of life in God’s creation (cf. Ecclesiastes) is, indeed, a manifestation of God’s good and gracious character.” - https://seminary.bju.edu/theology-in-3d/the-basis-of-gods-common-grace/

[9] https://nebraskagospel.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/ACBC_Beliefs_And_Values.pdf

[10] http://tiny.cc/pr02101 

And God looked down through the corridors of time …….

 

This is classic Arminianism:

“In his omniscience, God foreknew the evil actions of the ignorant conspirators. In his wisdom, God used their foolish actions—actions for which they are morally responsible—to bring about the salvation of those who are lost and hopeless. In his love the Father sends and the Son becomes incarnate.” — Forsaken: The Trinity and the Cross, and Why It Matters by Thomas H. McCall

… which is in direction opposition to Acts 4:27-28, “for truly in this city there were gathered together against your holy servant Jesus, whom you anointed, both Herod and Pontius Pilate, along with the Gentiles and the peoples of Israel, to do whatever your hand and your plan had predestined to take place.”

This is not to say that the Bible teaches a ‘hard determinism.’ The Bible teaches ‘theological compatibilism.’  Theological compatibilism is the view that absolute divine sovereignty (God determining all events) is consistent with human freedom and moral responsibility. It argues that humans are free to act according to their desires, even if those desires and actions are pre-ordained by God.

This position highlights the harmony between two biblical truths that appear in tension: God’s exhaustive sovereignty and genuine human agency/moral responsibility. Also It avoids the misconception that people are robots or puppets. It aligns with the Biblical truth which affirms the decree of God while protecting human responsibility and God’s use of second causes. It also ensures that we don’t make God the author of sin.

Did God Abandon Jesus on the Cross - Final

 

THE CRY OF DERELICTION

“And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”” (Matthew 27:46, ESV)

Part 3

You will recall in my previous Blog, that I thought Dr. Tom McCall’s conclusion to his work on Christ’s cry of abandonment from the cross wasn’t convincing for the reasons given. I mainly took exception to his understanding that God abandoned Jesus TO sinful men and that the Father did not Himself abandon Christ; and his view of penal substitution, not accepting the Father’s direct action in causing His wrath to fall upon His Son.

So how are we to understand this cry of dereliction?

The Suffering Was Real

First of all, let us affirm that the suffering of Christ, bearing the sin of wicked men, was a real, objective suffering. It was not a feeling. It was real. McCall rightly warns us of this, “There are several misleading and potentially dangerous ways of interpreting the cry of dereliction. The first of these is the view that Jesus did not really suffer or was not really abandoned at all” (p. 42). John Piper stresses that Jesus was not merely feeling abandoned or speaking poetically. He really was forsaken in a specific sense: the Father poured out divine wrath on the Son as the substitute for sinners. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” means he really did [experience this]. He is bearing our sin. He bore our judgment. The judgment was to have God the Father pour out his wrath, and instead of pouring it out on us, he pours it out on him.”[1]

Kevin DeYoung[2] affirms that this forsakenness was temporal and relative, not absolute, total, or eternal (as experienced by the damned). “Jesus “experienced the abandonment and despair that resulted from the outpouring of divine wrath.” He “became the object of the Father’s wrath—the first time in all of eternity He had known the bitterness of His Father’s displeasure, the pain of His Father’s rejection.”[3]

This forsakenness was temporal and temporary. As I will explain next, it was also relative.

The Hypostatic Union of the Trinity Was Retained

The cry of Christ was not just a feeling. God imputed the guilt of sinners upon the Savior and He became sin and a curse, bearing the wrath of God (Galatians 3:13; 2 Corinthians 5:21; Isaiah 53:10). The Father treated the Son as if he were guilty—pouring out divine wrath against sin upon him as our substitute—so that we might never face that wrath or forsakenness ourselves (Hebrews 13:5).

But in that Divine Act there was no division in the divine essence or being of God (God is one; the Trinity cannot be “torn apart”). The union of the Trinity was not severed and the eternal love that the Father had for the Son was not diminished.

How is that possible? It is possible because the forsakenness pertains to Christ’s role as mediator and substitute in his incarnate state. In his human nature and experience, he endured what we deserved (the horror of bearing sin and its judgment). In his divine person and nature, he remained fully God, upheld by the Spirit, and united with the Father in will and love.

Stated otherwise, as touching His humanity, Jesus became sin, became a curse that fully paid for our sin, in our place, but as God, He remained God. That language retains the truth that Jesus did really become a propitiation for sin, and the Trinity was not ruptured. Theologians always distinguish what Christ experienced “in His humanity.” Jesus thirsted, grew weary, and cried out in forsakenness according to his true humanity, while his deity remained fully God. The person of Christ (the divine Son) endured the cross, but the suffering and dereliction occurred in and according to his human nature. (confirm[4])

This does not remove all mystery. There is yet a paradox for we must not fall into the error of Nestorianism (that the Father and Son are two separate persons). No, as the Creeds affirm: the two natures remain united in one person without confusion or separation. This means that in the mysteries of the hypostatic union of the Trinity Jesus could experience things “in his humanity” that His divine nature did not experience, yet they remained fully united. Athanasius maintained that if Christ is not God, forgiveness is impossible; if Christ is not man, humanity is not truly reconciled to God. As he summarized, "Jesus, that I know as my Redeemer, cannot be less than God"[5]. 

So, the wrath of God was borne in Christ’s humanity, yet not divided from His deity. What a mystery?

Conclusion

How should we then think about these things and how should we speak of these things? In short, Christ was truly forsaken for us so that we who are united to him by faith will never be. The cry of dereliction magnifies both the terrible cost of our sin and the glorious love of the triune God who accomplished redemption at infinite personal price, all without dividing the indivisible Trinity. This is why we can say with confidence that the God-man was forsaken as touching his humanity, yet caused no division in His deity. And because of the union of divinity and humanity in one person, Jesus' death was a "spotless sacrifice" of infinite worth.

 

 

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[1] https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/my-god-my-god-why-have-you-forsaken-me-didnt-jesus-already-know

[2] https://www.facebook.com/tokaicommunitychurch/posts/cry-of-derelictionin-the-last-moments-of-his-life-as-he-suffered-the-cruel-torme/1050735533907107/

[3] https://www.gracechurch.org/sermons/14258

[4] https://www.gty.org/sermons/80-357/principles-for-life-from-the-death-of-christ

[5] https://www.ottawagospelhall.com/post/who-was-athanasius