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Thursday, May 13, 2021

Discussion on Marriage and Divorce - Part 1

One Position

General

The position that I am describing is the position that was long held by the Church.  It does not describe the liberty and the conciliation of modern positions on the topic.  Although this position is hard to communicate to hurting people, it must be understood it claims to be the posture of Scripture.  At the outset it is important to understand that God forgives all sin. “Therefore I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven people, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven.” (Matthew 12:31, ESV). Forgiveness and grace are available for the sins of divorce and remarriage.  However the consequence of such sins may limit a person in certain ministries (e.g., “Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife . . ..”[1] )

The Overarching Principle

There is a governing principle in Scripture that gives insight to all less-clear passages.  And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence[2], says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”” (Malachi 2:13–16, ESV)

Genesis 2:21-24 describes the reality that God created marriage and Jesus says that God created marriage for permanence.  We read in Matthew 19:4–6 (ESV)

4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” [Emphasis mine]

So the overarching principle in the Bible is that marriage is indissoluble.  But there is one exception.

The Exception Clause

Modern writers will take us to Matthew 5:32 and Matthew 19:9, but I intend to show that these are not exception clauses in the sense they are using them.  The exception clause is really found in Romans 7:2–3 (ESV),

2 For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. 3 Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress.”

Summary

The Biblical position is clear: marriage is God’s design; it is a permanent relationship until death.   This is the posture that interprets all other passages of some dispute.

Disputed Passages

The most disputed passage that some people go to in order to permit divorce is found in Matthew 19:9 (ESV),  And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”  The ESV translates the word πορνεία (porneia) sexual immorality, as do most other translations.  The KJV translates it fornication.  The word is only used in one another place in that form and that is found in 1 Corinthians 5:1 (ESV), “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality [πορνεία] among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.”  That porneia is clearly incest.  Leviticus 18:6-18 describes this prohibition. Jesus is clearly affirming this.  In other words if a marriage occurs and it is learned that it is an unlawful marriage (the partners are too closely related) then the marriage is annulled.  To give liberty to any sexual misconduct, including adultery, is to move outside the specificity of the text.

Some also give liberty to a believing spouse divorcing an unbelieving spouse if the unbeliever leaves.  If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him . . . But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.” (1 Corinthians 7:13–15, ESV).  The KJV says the person is not under bondage and the NIV translates it “not bound”.  Some interpret this to mean that the bonds of the marriage contract can be broken.  However there is no permission granted for divorce and remarriage here.  This simply frees the believer from the constant, wearying pursuit of their partner. But it does not sanction divorce or remarriage.

Another common argument that is especially used to permit remarriage is found in Deuteronomy 24. 

“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house, and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife, and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife, then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.” (Deuteronomy 24:1–4, ESV)

Rather than give a tacit permission for divorce and remarriage, this passage protects the woman from exploitation by her first husband (requiring two or more dowries).  More importantly if a woman was divorced and married another man, she could not return and marry her first husband. When that union was broken by another marriage, adultery was committed. Jesus supports this interpretation when He says, But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:32, ESV). Even if she remarried her former husband, adultery was committed because the original union was broken.

Another passage often used to substantiate divorce is drawn from Ezra.  When he learned that the priests had married foreign wives, we read: And Ezra the priest stood up and said to them, “You have broken faith and married foreign women, and so increased the guilt of Israel. Now then make confession to the Lord, the God of your fathers and do his will. Separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the foreign wives.”” (Ezra 10:10–11, ESV).

Some people take that command “separate yourselves” to mean divorce. The Hebrew word is   בָּדַל “badal” which means to separate and can mean “make a distinction”.   It is likely that these wives were to dwell separately unless, perhaps, they came to know the God of Israel.  Ezra did not want their foreign gods to be in the homes of the Israelites.

Conclusion

Marriage is a lifetime covenant until death.  There is no permission in the Scriptures for divorce or remarriage.  Jesus said that “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” (Matthew 19:8, ESV), but He gave no such allowance. Only a hard-hearted, sinful person would ever initiate divorce.






[1] The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (1 Ti 3:2). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

[2] Probable meaning (compare Septuagint and Deuteronomy 24:1–4); or “The Lord, the God of Israel, says that he hates divorce, and him who covers

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