An excellent example as how to resolve conflict.

 

https://www.9marks.org/conversations/on-pastoral-public-tone-with-kevin-deyoung-pastors-talk-ep-245/

In this Pastors Talk episode, Jonathan Leeman (9Marks) interviews Mark Dever (Baptist) and Kevin DeYoung (Reformed) on pastoral, public tone; and the correction of brothers. This interview also gives help to disagreeing in public.

Principles:

1. The offended acted quickly when he saw/heard something that was wrong.
2. The offended got counsel from others what to do. This is not gossip.
3. The offended wrote directly in a clear, honest way. He wrote because he could articulate his concerns clearly and carefully.
4. The offended was very gracious when the offender apologized.
5. The offender know that the one taking offence. should be happy that he grow and learn by this. 
6. They knew each other well, by character thus having confidence that their concerns would be handled graciously and seriously.
7. The offender called right away after receiving the rebuke and repented.
8. The offender, when realizing his error did what he could to make it right. 
9. The effectiveness of the resolution was directly based on the good relationship of the parties and the trust that they could speak of such things confidently. There is wisdom to know how a rebuke might land. 
10. To be able to communicate in such manner is to respect the other party and assume that they will hear what they’re saying.  He is assuming that the other will not take it out of context, make light of it, be resentful toward it.

Build the kind of relationships that this level of discussion can take place. Unfortunately I have experienced several significant issues that I feel unable to address with a person because their response to conflict has been defensiveness, counter-attack, failure to really listen to my concerns, making light of it, or oppositely becoming distant and resentful.

I pray today that if I am that way, the Lord will hear my repentance and give grace.

The Road to Thanksgiving (An Exposition of Psalm 116) - Pt.2

Psalm 116 is definitely a personal song of thanksgiving for God's deliverance.  It's a song where the expression of gratefulness is extended to a commitment to a life of worship. Although the Septuagint divides the psalm into two, the structure is more complicated than that.  In fact there is little consensus about the structure.  This is my understanding of the structure.  It is neither dogmatic nor authoritative, but I believe the form does give a message.

The basic premise of my suggestion is found in verses 7 and 12.  At these two points the author breaks away from the recitation of God's goodness and his commitment to be loyal to speak to himself.   This forms an outline that could be described as:

• Circumstance
• Contemplation
• Commitment

Except for the "introduction" (vv1-2), that pattern seems to emerge. For example,notice the diagram to the right.   If this is the pattern that the human author and the Divine author intended (and I believe it is), then the structure of the message is in itself a message to us.  Not unlike the famous quotation from Marshall McLuhan: The medium is the message.

What is the message?  Is it not:

When God intersects with our lives in redemptive grace we ought to consider thoughtfully our response and seriously commit to a life worthy of that mercy.

So as we enter Psalm 116, this is the framework which guides our meditation and study.  "Look what God has done!"  "What does that mean to me?"   "What should my response look like?"   My "thanksgiving" ought to be thoughtful and expressive.   Let me give a practical example:

Let's assume I am praying for the a certain circumstance to change.  I need a new job.  God gives me just what I ask for.  It seems to fit the bill.  Casually we often with deep sincerity publicly and privately say to God, "Thank you!"  But what if I stop and think.  What should my contemplation of this answer to prayer look like?  What if following the pattern of the psalmist, I counsel my soul regarding its finding rest and peace in God, both now and in the future?  What if I ask myself, "What does a thankful life look like now that God has mercifully met my need?

Thankfulness without thoughtfulness is trivial.  Response without resolution is irrational.  We don't deepen our thankfulness in order to pay-back God.  We respond with this depth of genuine gratefulness because that it is the natural follow-through of true thanks.  One might argue that there really isn't true thankfulness unless there is that careful consideration and commitment.

Father, how can I say thanks?  This is the question.  I know that a fast and furious kiss on the cheek doesn't say thanks.  I know that a thoughtless, mechanical, habitual word or thought in passing doesn't say thanks.  Father, you have done so much for me.  You have given Your life that I might be redeemed and free.  Grant me the grace of this psalm to carefully consider the implications of this for my life; and to live a life worthy of Your great love for me.



_____________________________________________

A. Part 1 of this article is found HERE.